so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
