I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
