I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
