Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
