I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
