I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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