That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
