Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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