i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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