I would go down on you faster than GM stock
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
