I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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