Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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