They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
