If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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