I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
