True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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