I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I have already put on my inside pants.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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