the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Where is the hickey?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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