I want to have your abortion
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
