my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
