she woke up with a sticky ear
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize