you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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