You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
