Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
My breasts were aching with rage.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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