Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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