24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize