Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I would ride that face into the sunset
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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