I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
