conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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