just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
