im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
