You're a womanizer and a bitch.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
