So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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