yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
MIDGETS
????
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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