What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
