Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
she peed on how many people?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
