This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
