We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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