that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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