New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
