i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
