upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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