Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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