wat bout pragnant strippers??
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Randomize
