nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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