Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
