I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Dick very happy bro
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
