i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
