omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
