I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
