But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I supernannyed him into submission
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
