My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
