help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
is wine microwaveable?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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