Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
