CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Randomize
