About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
