Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
