The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
