paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
